Ignoring Your Own Mental Health Warning Signs
The first and most dangerous mistake new parents make is dismissing their own mental health struggles. According to the American Psychological Association, 33% of parents reported high levels of stress in the past month compared with 20% of other adults, with 48% of parents saying that most days their stress is completely overwhelming compared to 26% among other adults. The U.S. Surgeon General emphasizes that “the well-being of parents and caregivers is directly linked to the well-being of their children,” noting that demands from both work and child caregiving have come at the cost of quality time with one’s partner, sleep, and parental leisure time.
Many new parents think they’re being selfish by prioritizing their own needs, but this mindset backfires spectacularly. Nearly half (48%) of parents surveyed said that most days their stress is completely overwhelming. When you’re running on empty, you can’t give your child what they need. As one expert put it, “It’s much like when the flight attendant says, ‘If the pressure drops, put the oxygen mask on yourself first, then help the person next to you.’ Without self-care, we cannot help our kids and balance this with the many other obligations we have in life.”
Creating Unrealistic Financial Expectations
Some of the biggest money mistakes new parents can make include overspending on baby items, forgoing life insurance, and not getting a head start on college savings. One of the most dangerous financial traps parents-to-be can fall into is underestimating the costs of having a baby, which includes the costs incurred before the birth, such as doctor visits and new-baby gear, the costs of the birth and delivery itself, and the expenses that come after.
The pressure to buy every gadget, organic product, and designer nursery item can crush your budget before your baby even arrives. When growing a family, it’s natural to assume that a larger home is necessary, but upgrading your home could be a mistake if it means taking on a larger mortgage payment that ends up being burdensome for your budget. Creating a baby budget can help parents keep spending in check and avoid unnecessary debt. Instead of buying everything new, focus on the essentials and remember that babies grow out of everything quickly.
Falling Into the Screen Time Trap
One of the biggest challenges for parents in 2024 was managing children’s screen time while fostering interpersonal skills, as technology increasingly dominates everyday life whether in education, entertainment or social interactions. Excessive screen time has been linked to a range of issues, from poor sleep quality to reduced physical activity and even difficulties in attention and learning. By establishing screen time limits, you’re encouraging your child to engage in a variety of activities, which promotes a healthier lifestyle that includes physical activity, reading, and face-to-face interactions.
Many new parents make the mistake of using screens as a digital babysitter from early on. It’s tempting to hand over a tablet to keep your child entertained with hours of TikTok, but this shouldn’t replace real human interaction. Digital devices can offer educational content, but they can’t make up for the interaction that kids get from playing with friends or engaging in creative play. As a parent, you are a role model and that means following all the same rules you are setting for your children—if you ask your teenager to limit their screen time, you should do so as well.
Losing Sight of Your Village
Many parents have lost their village, with one expert noting that “parenting is a team sport. It’s not – it may be the primary responsibility of a parent to raise a child, but we need family, friends, neighbors, a community, and many of us have lost that.” Parents are struggling with loneliness at disproportionately higher levels, particularly single parents, more than three-quarters of whom report feeling lonely.
The mistake isn’t just about isolation—it’s about thinking you need to do everything perfectly on your own. The advisory urges community involvement through friendship, lending a helping hand, and providing emotional support, which will be vital in lessening the burden solely placed on parents and caregivers. Another important part of that support is speaking openly about the stress that comes with parenting. Building connections with other parents, even if it’s just through a local playgroup or online community, can provide both practical support and emotional relief.
Becoming a Helicopter Parent Too Early
“There’s no parent alive who knows where their kid is every single second of every single day,” said Lenore Skenazy, author of “Free-Range Kids.” “It’s not bad to not know where your kid is all the time, and to make it into a new normal that you must be tracking your kid is disturbing.” The organization argues that “the law should be that neglect equals when you put your kid in obvious and serious danger, not any time you take your eyes off of them.”
New parents often start tracking and monitoring every moment from day one, creating anxiety for both themselves and their children. We’ve talked a lot over the years about helicopter parenting, about parents being more and more involved in the minute-by-minute experience of their kids and expected to be more and more involved in the experiences of their kids, and this is having a real effect on parents. Starting with independence-building activities early—like letting your toddler help with safe household tasks—builds confidence rather than dependence.
Oversharing on Social Media
When we post every moment of our children’s lives online, their digital footprint lasts forever. Now that the first social media babies are growing up, they’re voicing their unhappiness about having their entire childhoods documented online for hundreds (sometimes thousands) of people to see. Yes, that video of your child melting down in Target or that photo of them naked and reading a book on the potty can seem too good not to post at the moment. But think about how your young kids might feel when they find it online ten years from now.
A good overall rule of thumb, before you press post, is to “make sure the content doesn’t include information you wouldn’t want a stranger to know.” Hackers can leverage information to apply for credit services, or even steal your child’s identity. Make sure to take the time to look into the privacy features of the platform you want to share content on, as there are always new features being rolled out. “On Instagram, for example, not only can you make your profile private, but also you can select which followers can see or comment on your story and posts.”
Ignoring Your Partner’s Stress Signals
The advisory aims to “highlight the stressors that impact the mental health and well-being of parents and caregivers, the critical link between parental mental health and children’s long-term well-being, and the urgent need to better support parents, caregivers and families.” Data from 2023 show a third of parents saying they faced high levels of stress over the past month, compared to 20% of other adults.
Many new parents make the mistake of assuming their partner is handling things fine when they’re actually struggling. The surgeon general noted the importance of extending support to diverse families, like LGBTQ+ parents, foster parents and parents who are single. Regular check-ins with your partner about stress levels, dividing responsibilities fairly, and being willing to seek help together can prevent relationship strain. Employers can expand programs that support parents’ well-being, including paid leave and flexible work schedules, and training managers on stress management. Communities, schools and health-care workers can help, too, with additional screening and support for all.
Perfectionist Parenting Pressure
“As technological and economic forces have reshaped the world at a dizzying pace, it has also become harder for parents to prepare children for a future that is difficult to understand or predict,” with the internet and social media creating an intense “culture of comparison” that creates “unrealistic expectations” regarding “milestones, parenting strategies, achievements and status symbols that kids and parents must pursue.” “Chasing these unreasonable expectations has left many families feeling exhausted, burned out and perpetually behind.”
One of the hottest pieces of news in 2024 was the Surgeon General’s warning about parental stress, citing time demands and cultural pressures as critical pain points. “When it comes to planning and scheduling for your family, try to quiet the noise from the outside.” New parents often fall into the trap of comparing themselves to Instagram-perfect families or trying to follow every parenting book to the letter. Be sure their time is balanced—between scheduled and unscheduled so there’s both inhaling—learning new things by being out in the world—and exhaling—being home and free to just be.
Not Teaching Financial Responsibility Early
Most parents (85%) believe that giving their kids an allowance helps them learn about spending, but many (65%) feel it is difficult to step back and let their kids make their own money mistakes. Louann Millar, leader of youth and student banking at Wells Fargo, believes an allowance provides a weekly opportunity for parents to talk to their children about money. “An allowance is a vehicle that enables children to learn about money with guardrails. The weekly activity of giving the allowance presents an opportunity for parents to discuss needs versus wants with their children.”
Many new parents think financial education can wait until their kids are older, but this is a costly mistake. Teaching kids about money today means using digital tools. Most parents (70%) believe that teaching kids about money today means focusing on digital tools, rather than cash. Even toddlers can learn basic concepts like saving and spending through simple games and activities. Starting early builds good money habits that last a lifetime.
Underestimating the Importance of Self-Care
The key to resilience is learning to incorporate Self-Care in your life. It is much like when the flight attendant says, “If the pressure drops, put the oxygen mask on yourself first, then help the person next to you.” This could not be more important and true for parents. When self-care drops, optimal functioning diminishes. Your self-care toolbox can contain a range of things.
The biggest mistake new parents make is thinking self-care is selfish. Not practicing self-care can affect your emotional, family, recreational, and work life negatively. Practice improves your self-care skills, if you cannot do something you want to do for yourself, let it go. Self-care doesn’t mean expensive spa days—it can be as simple as taking a shower while your partner watches the baby, going for a walk, or having a cup of coffee while it’s still hot. Simple, proven ways for parents and caregivers to manage stress include using relaxation techniques and understanding the importance of self-care. When you take care of yourself, you’re better equipped to take care of your family.